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Why and How to Let Go?


The blood boils, vengeance rages, and the bloodshot eyes are enraged with the intent to hurt. On the other hand, we try to make peace with ourselves, and let go. For ages, vengeance has brought the monsters within us, waging wars and killing millions. Forgiveness, easier said than done at times, is a tapasya, more trying as it calls for us to control our selves, and sometimes, blow our ego. 

A reaction to an action is how humans are designed. The impulse to react when your opinions and thoughts are hurt is considered normal and that’s how unfortunately our DNA has involved. In this time and era, peaceful and mature arguments are rarely seen intact. If your opinion is hurt, like a child you either fly of fight, and blame other for your reaction. This is where man has failed to evolve. 

Letting go on the other hand comes with practice and stronger intent. Most spiritual masters will tell you that you don’t forgive to let others off the hook but yourself. The resentment from the past kills our today and lays a funeral for tomorrow. To live a fulfilled life, we must let go the pains of yesterday so that our present can be peaceful and future planned and beautiful. The beauty and ugliness of the world is not in the outside, but inside. It’s all a matter of perspective, isn’t it. A writer stated it beautifully that beheading of a chicken for a vegan activist is an act of disgust, work for a butcher, and a delicious meal for the buyer. Same act; different perspectives. 

So, why do we must let go? First, we need to understand that those people who have hurt you should not be significant in your life anymore. They might not even be, but they should also cease to exist in mind. Our mind is a tricky thing, so subtly interconnected with our ego, that it can light even a spark into fire, and burn our being with it. Remember the saying, man is his worst enemy. 

Also, forgiveness is not an act that comes useful at rare occasions. It is useful for us in daily lives. What about not hurling abuse at the driver who just overtook us rashly? Let it be. He has gone ahead. Why ruin your state of being? Or a bad customer care experience on phone? Or a maid who turned up late? Ask yourself how much control you had over the situation. The answer invariably will be NONE. But you have control over yourself. 

I remember that many years ago, I was driving to a friend’s house, and took a wrong turn, and got stuck in traffic. It took me extra 45 minutes to reach his home. When I reached his home, I explained the reason and had a hearty laugh. He was surprised that I could laugh at being stuck in a traffic jam. He expected me to whine, hurl abuses at the system, and drivers. Importantly, I arrived happily and enjoyed my evening instead of being irritated at the state of things. 

Coming back, I also see that society justifies revenge. If I am attacked, verbally, by someone, it is almost justified for me to be rude and agitated – people accept it as a norm. That is a dangerous proposition. Nothing is more lethal than telling the devil within us that his action is validated. We must avoid such people, or let our resolve to store inner peace so strong that we are not effected. At the end, you want to enjoy your moment, and not get effected. Isn’t it? 

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