“A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her.”
― Oscar Wilde
It was an odd but much-needed interview that I saw. Chetan Bhagat interviewing Nikhil Kamath of Zerodha. Chetan happened to ask Nikhil about his belief in love or a soulmate (Nikhil is divorced if that matters), and Nikhil dismissed the entire idea of having a soulmate out there, or even the idea of romance. Chetan agreed with examples of how Bollywood has sold the idea of romance, and we have come to believe in the concept of a good-looking, wealthy hero, or a charming, beautified heroine in our lives.
Add to that, the dopamine-kicking dreamy songs that delude us further, and are nowhere close to reality. How many movies have we seen where the dreamy-eyed damsel asks the universe or some other mysterious energy for her Prince Charming, and he is shown with flowy hair and a chiselled body in a parallel but accessible universe.
Nikhil also affirmed how marriage as a concept is obsolete. One interesting point he made was that in the past marriages had a societal constitution and it was built on that, which does not happen now. Marriages are not bound by a law or a bible – in fact, traditions are breaking. While it was intriguing, it also raised many questions.
I have been a bit torn between the idea of desire and love. Do we love someone or do we desire someone? Do we love someone or do we ‘need’ someone? The social chorus believes in the idea of ‘settling down’ and carrying on the legacy. But does it appeal to a rational and evolved mind? There might be happy marriages, there might be perfect families, but I have come to believe that it is not for me. My own tendency to be reclusive has led me to be more empowered, and contemplative.
So, do we believe in love, Bollywood style, or are we deluded, or somewhere in between?